Lil Update

I was reminded about this blog yesterday, so I'm doing another little update. Since my last post I've gone back to work, had a mid life crisis and left my husband... And here's my 35 Things update:

Completed

20. Learn first aid - completed the online Mini First Aid course. Need to wait for lockdown to be lifted before I can go to the physical class. But I'm counting this as done 👍

35. Learn how to crochet or knit - done 👍

Working On

1. Get to target weight - I'm still about 7lbs away from my goal. FOCUS LAURA, DAMMIT. 🙈

5. Run a half marathon - running 5ks every week at the moment. I have a 10k planned in September (fingers crossed, Covid dependant) 

10. Grow a flower from seed and keep it alive - I've got some plants growing at the moment... 

23. 35 RAOKs - I sent toys and chocolate to my friend and her kids when she was feeling a bit crappy. Tbh over the last year I've definitely done more but I've not been writing them down, so it doesn't count 😂 so I think I'm only on 3/35

25. Have an emergency fund - getting there... 

On Hold

2. Buy a house - as a single Mumma this is probably now out of reach. 

26. Get that tattoo for my boys - design is sorted. Need lockdown to lift. 

Do Next

24. Re-learn French - got a bit of time to do this at the mo, so might be my next focus. 

29. Print off my important photos and put them in albums - this is going to be a massive job 😬

31. Complete the 30 Day Shred - going to put this on in a bit! 

33. Perfect the art of latte making - if I could get hold of the right milk I could give this another go 🙈

Another 35 Things Update

I'm loving having this list to keep some goals in mind and keep me focused, as I do tend to get distracted and flit from one thing to another, but this makes sure I remember what I actually want.

1. Get to target weight - I'm about half a stone from my goal, but I don't think I "feel" right yet. It's mostly about toning, but I'll get there and then see how I feel.

2. Buy a house - gah. I wish. We've been exploring lots of different ways to do this, but based on our poor credit history it's still not looking possible yet. Potentially next year (and that's also presuming we can raise enough for a deposit haha)

3. Finish my degree - erm. This has gone a bit wrong and I've withdrawn from my module.

4. Start my website development business and/or open The Green Bean - I'm going to work for my friend so this is also on hold, although I do think The Green Bean has a special place in my heart.

5. Run a half marathon - I'd started "jeffing" in training for our 5k in June but it was making me feel anxious so I stopped. I'm in a better place now, anxiety wise anyway, so I will try again.

20. Learn first aid - paramedic sis-in-law is finding a date for this <3

22. Wean myself off screens (Screen free day a week) - I had got better with this but I keep failing. It is something I really need to focus on.

23. 35 RAOKs - gave my car parking ticket to another car. It's a silly little one but it's not something I do usually, as I don't generally like approaching people. 2/35 done.

24. Re-learn French - had a mini conversation entirely in French when we were away and it made me really want to get on with this one. I miss being able to speak French. I've downloaded Duolingo on my phone and I'm ordering a monthly French activity box for J so hopefully that will refresh my memory as well.

25. Have an emergency fund - technically while we are saving to pay off the debts it's a temporary emergency fund. That'll do for now as debts take priority.

28. Visit 35 National Trust sites - Ickworth, Flatford, Sutton Hoo, Wimpole, Hatfield Forest, Woolsthorpe Manor, Dunwich Heath, Blickling... 8/35

34. Grow most of our own vegetables - we recently took on an allotment. It needs a lot of clearing so I don't think I'll be able to say we've got the full benefit from it this year, but it's a step closer.

35. Learn how to crochet or knit - I taught myself basic crochet just before Christmas but I haven't practised since so I don't think I can say this one is completed yet. Must practise!

To sum up - I need to lose 7lbs and tone up a bit, start Jeffing again, put my screens down, plan some more RAOKs, order the French box and practise crocheting! Easy....

35 Things : Update

So, to keep myself on track I'm going to update every few months with how I'm getting on. 

1. Get to target weight - I am very very slowly doing this; I lost 10lbs since the original post and 38lbs in total from my heaviest weight. I've got 22lbs to go. Slowly does it!

2. Buy a house - we are currently in the paying off debts phase. This is also going very slowly.

3. Finish my degree - I am currently about a quarter of the way through my final first year module, and have had good marks on my first two assignments, but it's another slow burner.

8. Learn self defence - might be in the pipeline :)

9. Watch the sunrise at the beach - today I am looking at whether we can go away for new year in order to complete this one! Seeing in the New Year by watching the sunrise sounds amazing to me. Trying to figure out the best beach for it though is baffling my brain.

20. Learn first aid - I think my lovely Sis-out-law is going to help with this as she's a paramedic <3

22. Wean myself off screens (Screen free day a week) - getting there with reduced phone time! Next step is to allocate a day to consistently leave my phone alone.

23. 35 RAOKs - tiny one to kick off, gave a lady in a clothes shop 5p as she was short. Going to research some ideas but I do think spontaneity is best.

26. Get that tattoo for my boys - I've been Pinteresting ideas. Need to find a tattooist that is happy to ink a breastfeeding mum and can source vegan ink though.

28. Visit 35 National Trust sites - we are planning to visit Wimpole Estate on the way back from Milton Keynes next month.

31. Complete the 30 Day Shred - I could do this one soonish as it's easily done at home around the boys.

35. Learn how to crochet or knit - going to focus on this next I think. Youtube is my friend!

35 Before 35

Since my last post we've moved in with my parents, and we're on an 18 month journey to get back on track. However, my anxiety has hit new levels and I'm struggling the most I have in my entire life.

But anyway, something I've been focusing on over the last few weeks is my '35 Things To Do Before I'm 35' list. (There's also a 'Childhood Bucket List' simmering away but it's not ready yet.) I've got 6 years to get all these ticked off, and some of them are biggies so it's going to take some planning. Here we go!

1. Get to target weight
2. Buy a house
3. Finish my degree
4. Start my website development business and/or open The Green Bean
5. Run a half marathon
6. Do the NC500
7. Do a tour of Europe
8. Learn self defence
9. Watch the sunset at the beach
10. Grow a flower from seed and keep it alive
11. Watch a 3D iMax film
12. See in the new year in a different country
13. Go away for Christmas
14. Learn how to properly build and light a fire
15. Climb a mountain (Snowdon?)
16. See the Northern Lights
17. Visit the Giants Causeway
18. Improve sustainability of house (solar panels, grey water use etc)
19. Go to the Edinburgh Festival
20. Learn first aid
21. See red squirrels in the wild
22. Wean myself off screens (Screen free day a week)
23. 35 RAOKs
24. Re-learn French
25. Have an emergency fund
26. Get that tattoo for my boys
27. Own a dog
28. Visit 35 National Trust sites
29. Print off my important photos and put them in albums
30. Host Christmas dinner
31. Complete the 30 Day Shred
32. Go to a big Christmas market
33. Perfect the art of latte making
34. Grow most of our own vegetables
35. Learn how to crochet or knit

Where to blimming start?!

My blog is changing! A reincarnation.

Ah, it's been two years since I posted on here. Actually can't believe it's been that long. Most of you will know that I had another baby in that time; he's now 3 months old and has caused me to have an EPIPHANY! I feel like I've been heading this way since eldest was born, but I'm at the stage now where I'm screaming "something has GOT to change".

I'm all about the eco, vegan, yogini, breastfeeding, cloth nappy lifestyle, but it is not enough!

Currently I'm suffering with PTSD, anxiety and mild depression. I've just added migraines to that list today (although they're sending me for a CT scan just to double check that diagnosis). I might be being a bit hippy and naive here but I feel like, for me, (apart from the PTSD) they're all stress related, first-world problems. I want to attack this holistically, although am considering the drugs as a temporary bandaid.

I need to cut back on stuff, things and doings. Ideally we'd go live in a eco-lodge somewhere and be self-sufficient, zero-waste, slow living... (ahem, new fave youtube channel - http://lulastic.co.uk/) and although some things may be aligning where something like this could be possible in the future. Right now, it isn't.

My blog is changing! It's going to be a place where I record what steps I am taking towards this new life I want to create for myself. Honestly I feel like a born-again Christian or something. I feel motivated and like I have found my path (calling! Bahaha) I'm going to be one of 'those vegans' right now, and bear with, but it is the same as I felt when we went vegan. It was just the absolute right thing for me, and this is the same.

The main things that I've changed recently are getting back into daily yoga, and the biggie... stepping away from my phone, particularly social media. I get dragged into it, consumed by it, and waste huge amounts of time on it. I get jealous and angry and insecure, none of which are particularly peaceful feelings. Plus, it means I'm not present for my boys, which is a massive reason that I feel things need to change.

I'm getting cravings to pack everything in and go travelling in a van. I've even looked at a few on Gumtree, but I don't know how I'd cope with the kids, without my support network. Also, we'd struggle to be zero waste, and it's not exactly carbon friendly. But what an amazing upbringing that would be for my boys.  Worldschooling. Is it the way forward for us?

Nine To Thirteen Weeks Pregnant

I started to feel a bit better in the last part of the First Trimester. Even though during week nine I started to get cold symptoms; I was bunged up and disgusting. A lot of my previous symptoms disappeared this week - was rarely nauseous, breasts calmed down, less gassy and bloated but still cramping. This was the first week for a while where I was actually able to think about food and therefore plan my meals. I finally bought a few new clothes for myself, but I am being hugely fussy (ooh, another post methinks!)

I bought this lovely maxi from George at Asda - I wanted a light, roomy maxi that I can wear throughout most of the pregnancy, but I needed one with thick straps as I can't really wear a strapless bra anymore.

We decided to book another scan for 10+3 as even though it is normal for symptoms to fade away (they have to sometime!), having had a missed miscarriage previously and knowing that I had a sac which could cause problems this time, I stopped being as relaxed about everything. 

Littl'un was kicking around and measuring 10+1 

Everything was fine at the scan, and this time we definitely relaxed a lot more. We had got further than we did the last time which felt like a little victory. It was so amazing seeing this little grainy blob kicking around on the screen.

Around this time I realised that I was losing weight - since the beginning of the pregnancy I'd lost half a stone without doing anything, except not really wanting to eat! 

Left: 10 weeks pregnant; Right: 12 weeks pregnant

Tiny review time - We ordered the Mothercare Madrid Combination Car Seat as it was on offer for £40.00. However when we went to pick it up, the ladies in the shop told us that it wasn't suitable for a newborn as it doesn't lay flat enough. They also said that it only goes rearward in 5% of all cars. We tried it anyway, and even with the front passenger seat all the way forward (so I wouldn't have been able to even get in!) it didn't fit. There was also a huge gap underneath the front of the seat when it was sitting flat. Completely useless. It's a shame because it's a lovely looking seat.

Cute, cheap but absolutely useless car seat...

Pregnancy wise I had my antenatal bloods done at 11 weeks, eventually. The nurse couldn't get anything out of me, so I had to make an appointment with a doctor who specialised in difficult veins... He was brilliant. I also started retching at really random (and sometimes embarrassing times!), this led to a few more throwing up incidents. But to be honest I know I have been really lucky with the 'morning sickness', I've just been pathetic.

We have decided that we are going to try cloth nappies instead of disposables. Although the initial outlay may be more, over time it will be cheaper (£500 cheaper for the first baby). Plus we are concerned about the fact that eight million nappies are thrown away every day in the UK. Having said that, if we don't get on with them or it becomes too difficult then we will not feel guilty about switching to disposables. Parents gotta do what they gotta do.

Our Mystery Box from Baba Me during Real Nappy Week contained a Bumgenius V4 with inserts, a Flip cover and insert. 

From 11 weeks I started to feel a lot more tired and hormonal than I had done before, husband started to have a few health issues himself and we had really bad news about a family member, so we had a difficult couple of weeks (which includes the election but I will leave that..! Haha) I also lost another couple of pounds in these weeks.

At 13 weeks we had our dating scan. Baby did not want to behave - hid behind my bladder, and after being tipped upside down on the bed and wiggled around it did eventually move up but immediately rolled over and went to sleep! So we didn't get amazing pictures and the nuchal measurement may not be as accurate, BUT everything looked perfect, as much as they can tell at this stage anyway. Baby was measuring two days ahead so my new due date would have been Chris' nan's birthday, which is lovely.

Baby is looking less like a chicken nugget now.

Four to Eight Weeks Pregnant

Be prepared for a bit of TMI from here...

During the first couple of weeks after confirming the pregnancy I was moody, tired, emotional, thirsty, hungry and gassy. All the wonderful, normal things that come with pregnancy. At this point I didn't really let myself think about being pregnant too much and I was focused on taking each day as it came. 

Ovia Pregnancy App - highly recommend.

I was sent for an early scan at exactly 5 weeks to determine if the pregnancy was ectopic as I was having cramps and stabbing pains on the left side. Thankfully, we saw a teeny, tiny sac measuring 3.5mm in the correct place and were told to come back in two weeks. Again, I was pleased but still worried. I think once you've lost a baby there's always that feeling in the back of your mind that something will go wrong - especially if you haven't had a pregnancy that has made it to full term.

Weeks five to seven were interesting. Obviously we were in yet another two week wait, which dragged like anything, but my symptoms revved up a notch in this time. To begin with I started getting nausea in the evenings and went off nearly every food, this then progressed to all day nausea (but only one actual throwing up event!). I had painful breasts and nipples. I had fatigue, mood swings, spontaneous crying, dizziness, more cramps, headaches and the day before my seven week scan I had a very dry orange discharge/spotting. During this time I was also suffering from panic attacks, which I obviously couldn't take anything for so it was very difficult - I relied on meditation and exercise. I saw my GP a lot, and I completely changed my mind about him as he was brilliant.

The Apps I used to keep me calm and healthy - I don't know what I would do without my Andrew Johnson ones.

Thankfully, everything was completely fine at the scan - baby was measuring 7+1 and we saw its heartbeat (the midwife said the baby was 'all heart' at this stage, which I loved the phrasing of). I relaxed slightly but having seen a heartbeat last time, it wasn't the instant relief that most people have. The only issue was that there was another sac of either fluid or blood, which I was told I would probably absorb or bleed. 

7 weeks pregnant - just a bit bloated!

At eight weeks I had my booking in appointment with a midwife, who told me that despite my ME, history of mental illness and a BMI of 34, I would be under midwife-led care! I was thrilled, because as long as I have a normal, healthy pregnancy I should be able to use the birthing unit at West Suffolk Hospital for my labour, which has always been what I wanted. Once I had seen the midwife I picked up my first two Bounty packs and Emma's Diary pack (oh, the freebies - I feel another post coming on!)

Top: Second Bounty Pack; Bottom: First Emma's Diary Pack.

I also started to gradually feel a little better this week, and went clothes shopping as I was getting quite big in the belly area! I didn't get a lot for me, but bought this adorable snow suit in the sale from Boots. My first actual purchase made it feel a lot more real, and this is when I started getting excited. 

Weeks Nine to Thirteen coming soon!

I'm Pregnant!

Hopefully I've scheduled this to post far enough in advance that I have already announced my pregnancy... but, if not - surprise!

So after our miscarriage in June last year, I wasn't ready to try again for quite a few months. We always knew we were going to at some point but I just wasn't there emotionally. In my November Plans post I mentioned a few practical reasons why I wasn't ready but looking back, I just couldn't have done it.

We started trying again in January, and I had quite a few symptoms but unfortunately nothing happened. I was later told by a GP that I was suffering from stress, which could prevent me from getting pregnant. I started doing guided meditation, breathing exercises and being more active as a way to combat this. We also went on holiday to Wales, which was massively relaxing, and I believe it played a huge part in the fact that we got pregnant during that cycle!

The day after we got back from Wales I had my second ever 100% positive, no-doubt-about-it ovulation test, so even though we were knackered from the journey we powered through... (the first and last time I had one like that I got pregnant so I was sure it was going to happen this time too)

Within a few days I started feeling pregnant and was having the same sort of cramps that I had had last year, and at 9 days post ovulation I got the faintest line on a pregnancy test. I've had that before and then it doesn't stick so I didn't get excited yet. I *obviously* tested every day after that with not a lot of change, but then at 12dpo I tested with a Clearblue...

Definitely pregnant!

My friends had to endure a lot of pregnancy test progression pictures for a while, which I know some of them dislike, but they put up with it and I am thankful!

We told both sets of parents around Mother's Day, by giving them a 'Grandma' card and signing it from Baby. It took Father-in-law absolutely ages to work out why we'd given that card but it was hilarious. It's so much fun telling people.

Stay tuned for my Weeks 4 to 8 recap - bet you can't wait! ;)

What's For Dinner?

It has been a long time since I posted, for quite a few different reasons, but basically I've been busy! I want to get back into blogging, so I'm starting with my old faithful - FOOD!

I found a brilliant meal planning template for Mac's Numbers program which I used to create my menu for this week. Unfortunately this wasn't my most budget friendly week as my shopping at Asda came to £56, but I am not sure what else I bought besides the food to be honest.

This week we are eating:

Creamy Tomato Linguine

I substituted the cream for creme fraiche.

Cod fishcakes with chips and beans

Mexican Chicken

This came from Pinterest, but only linked to the image, so I'm basically going to bake chicken breast pieces with sliced peppers and an Old El Paso Smoky BBQ sachet, and serve with spicy rice.

Cheese and Veg Puff

Annoyingly, the website which had the recipe I was planning on using seems to no longer exist. The problems with the internet I guess. Anyway, I'll vaguely follow the linked recipe but I am using baby sweetcorn, asparagus, tomatoes, basil, creme fraiche and parmesan for mine.

Chickpea and Spinach Curry

Steak (Quorn Steak for me) with sweet potato fries and grilled veggies

Sunday Roast at my Mum's

For lunches we will have sandwiches, quiche, falafels, burgers and cheese toasties depending on who is where and when. Breakfasts are the usual toast, sausage sandwiches and cereal bars, but I am trying this Raspberry Vanilla overnight oats recipe for tomorrow morning.

What are you having for dinner?

5 Fave Health and Fitness Accounts on Instagram

As you might have noticed... Mr Newbs and I are on a bit of a health kick, and we started an Instagram account in October to document our successes. I'm not quite ready to share it with you yet, I may not ever be to be honest (there are underwear shots!)

However, I would like to share my favourite health and fitness accounts with you:

MuffinTopless

I didn't think I would like this account originally - there are A LOT of selfies - but Savannah's posts are full of inspiration and she really seems to care about making people feel good about themselves. Completely one of my favourites, and I am loving the selfies now!

Madeleine_shaw_

The pictures on this account are just stunning; gorgeous food, Sydney scenery, portraits and inspirational quotes. 

fighting2getfit

Ashley is documenting her weight loss journey and I am so grateful that she is. I hope to be brave enough to start sharing my IG account soon as well. She has done amazingly, and looks so happy and healthy!

LauraSykora

Okay, I love yoga anyway so I was always going to enjoy an account with a lot of it but this is my favourite of all the millions I follow. The photography is gorgeous and I am so jealous of her workout gear.

SophieLou84

This is a less well-known account, but Sophie is another lady sharing the journey that she is still on, and her transformation is incredible. Hopefully she keeps posting as much as she has done recently.

1500 Calorie Diet Plan for Vegetarian Spoonies on a Budget

Wow, such a long title (and be prepared for a long post too!) but I have really struggled to find a 1500 calorie diet plan that isn't expensive or takes up too much time in the kitchen. Add eating mostly vegetarian food to that and it is impossible. So I have decided to write my own, and share it with you.

Okay, so yes, I could just eat less crap and more fruit ... blah blah blah ... but I like having a plan. Knowing what you are eating and when, means you are less likely to make bad choices. I know this works for me as it is the only way I have ever lost weight before.

Disclaimer - I based this plan on ideas from a free trial of dietplan.co.uk and working through the Tesco Value items to find out what the cheapest options would be. I also used the Quorn website and my own tiny brain. Therefore it is not medically or nutritionally based, and I am just letting you know what I will be eating this week.

Each day is around 1430 calories to allow for things like tea and coffee (or adding gravy and Options hot chocolate like I will be doing) and serves 1 person.


MEAL PLAN

Monday (1415 calories)

Breakfast: Scrambled egg (2 eggs, 125ml semi-skimmed milk and 10g spread) on 2 slices of medium wholemeal toast - 367 cals

Morning snack: Banana - 90 cals

Lunch: Vegetable soup (from a can - boo) and 1 slice of medium wholemeal bread with 5g spread - 274 cals

Afternoon snack: 3 cream crackers with 30g soft cheese - 175 cals

Tea: Vegetable curry (Fry 1/4 onion until soft; add 1/3 jar Tesco Balti sauce, 80g frozen mixed veg and 84g cooked red lentils; simmer for 15 mins. Meanwhile cook 75g white rice) - 485 cals

Dessert: 1 fruit ice lolly - 24 cals

(Original curry recipe from dietplan.co.uk for your reference. I have adapted it to make it cheaper)


Tuesday (1422 calories)

Breakfast: 50g muesli with 1 pot of low fat yoghurt and an apple - 351 cals

Morning snack: 1 chopped carrot with 30g houmous - 93 cals

Lunch: 2 Quorn turkey slices with 50g salad on 2 slices of medium wholemeal bread - 238 cals

Afternoon snack: 1 pack of Walkers Sunbites crisps - 120 cals

Tea: Quorn spag bol (Fry 1/4 onion and 1/2 celery stick in 10g spread or 1 spray of Frylight until soft; add 125g Quorn mince, 80g frozen mixed veg, 1/2 garlic clove, 1/2 can of chopped tomatoes with herbs and 1/2 stock cube; simmer for 15 mins. Meanwhile cook 50g spaghetti) - 445 cals

Dessert: Half a can of rice pudding - 175 cals

(This picture is taken from the Quorn website, and I adapted their spag bol recipe to make it cheaper/easier)


Wednesday (1430 calories)

Breakfast: Half a can of baked beans on 2 slices of medium wholemeal toast with 10g spread - 379 cals

Morning snack: 1 banana and 80g grapes - 143 cals

Lunch: 75g cooked penne pasta with 30g mature cheddar cheese - 387 cals

Afternoon snack: 1 cereal bar - 85 cals

Tea: 1 Quorn escalope/grill with half a can of new potatoes, boiled, and 80g frozen mixed vegetables, steamed - 412 cals

Dessert: 1 fruit ice lolly - 24 cals


Thursday (1405 calories)

Breakfast: 1 tbsp clear honey spread on 2 slices of medium wholemeal bread with a banana - 299 cals

Morning snack: 3 cream crackers with 30g soft cheese - 175 cals

Lunch: 1 tortilla wrap with 1 mashed boiled egg, 1 tsp light mayo and 50g mixed salad - 269 cals

Afternoon snack: 1 Freddo bar - 95 cals

Tea: Half a pack of vegetable stir fry with 150g egg noodles and half a sachet of black bean sauce - 292 cals

Dessert: Half a can of rice pudding - 175 cals


Friday (1420 calories)

Breakfast: Spicy Cheese Omelette (whisk 2 eggs with ground pepper and 1 tsp chilli flakes; fry 1 chopped spring onion until soft in 10g spread; pour in the eggs and cook for 2 mins; sprinkle 30g grated mature cheddar in the middle then fold in the edges and flip over; cook for a few more minutes) - 272 cals

Morning snack: 1 sliced apple and 80g grapes mixed in 1 low fat yoghurt - 224 cals

Lunch: 2 slices of wholemeal medium bread, 1 sliced tomato and 30g mature cheddar put under the grill - 294 cals

Afternoon snack: 1 pack of Walkers Sunbites crisps - 120 cals

Tea: Half a can of new potatoes, boiled and mashed with 125ml semi skimmed milk and 10g spread, 2 grilled Quorn sausages and 80g frozen mixed veg, steamed - 393 cals

Dessert: 1 fruit ice lolly - 24 cals

(Very slightly adapted version of this recipe from dietplan.co.uk)


Saturday (1447 calories)

Breakfast: 1 boiled egg on 2 slices of medium wholemeal toast with 10g spread and a banana - 372 cals

Morning snack: 3 cream crackers with 30g soft cheese - 175 cals

Lunch: 1 medium jacket potato with 10g spread, half a can of baked beans and 50g mixed salad - 394 cals

Afternoon snack: 1 cereal bar - 85 cals

Tea: 2 vegetable grills with half a can of new potatoes, roasted, and 80g frozen mixed veg, steamed - 326 cals

Dessert: 1 Freddo bar - 95 cals


Sunday (1459 cals)

Breakfast: 2 grilled Quorn sausages, 2 eggs scrambled with 125ml semi-skimmed milk and 10g spread, half a can of baked beans, 1 slice of medium wholebread toast with 5g spread and 1 grilled tomato - 557 cals

Morning snack: 1 kiwi

Lunch: 2 slices of wholemeal medium bread, 1 sliced tomato and 30g mature cheddar put under the grill - 294 cals

Afternoon snack: 1 chopped carrot with 30g houmous - 93 cals

Tea: Quorn cottage pie (Fry 1/4 onion in 10g spread or Frylight until soft; add 125g Quorn mince, 1/2 stock cube and 1/2 tbsp reduced salt soy sauce; simmer for 10 mins then place in an overproof dish; add 1/2 can of new potatoes, boiled and mashed; bake in the oven at 180C for 20 mins; serve with 80g frozen mixed veg, steamed) - 332 cals

Dessert: 1 Curly Wurly and 1 fruit ice lolly - 139 cals

(Cottage pie adapted from this recipe on the Quorn website)

SHOPPING LIST

I always use Tesco for my food shopping as I have had terrible experiences with Asda, so the following shopping list is based on their website. It assumes that you don't have anything in your cupboards and is all for one person. (The only thing I am unhappy with is that there will be quite a lot of food left over. I may make a second week of meals to use up what is left.)


Fresh Food
6 pack of Kiwi Fruits - £1.00
1 loose Baking Potato - £0.33
Salad Tomatoes 360G - £0.69
1 loose Red Onion - £0.18
Bunched Spring Onions 100G - £0.49
Tesco Black Bean Stir Fry Sauce 180G - £1.00
Tesco Fresh Egg Noodles 375G - £1.20
Red Seedless Grapes 500G - £2.00
Tesco Lighter Mature White Cheddar - £1.50
Tesco Everyday Value Houmous Dip 300G - £1.00
3 loose Carrots - £1.50
2 loose Gala Apples - £0.62
1 Tesco Chef's Choice Garlic - £0.50
Celery 450G - £0.49
Tesco Sweet and Crunchy Salad - £1.00
Quorn Turkey and Sage Slice 100G - £1.70
Tesco Everyday Value Low Fat Fruit Yoghurts 4X125G- £0.33
4 loose Bananas - £0.49
Tesco Everyday Value Soft Cheese 200G - £0.49
1 loose Brown Onion - £0.16
Tesco Everyday Value Soft Spread 1KG - £1.35
Tesco British Semi Skimmed Milk 568Ml/1 Pint - £0.49
Tesco Everyday Value Eggs Minimum Weight Box of 10 - £1.15

Food Cupboard
Cadburys Curly Wurly 5 Pack 130G - £1.39
Amoy Reduced Salt Soy Sauce 150ML - £1.19
Tesco Crushed Chillies 28G - £0.80
2 Cadbury Freddos 18G - £0.40
Tesco Everyday Value Clear Honey 340G - £0.99
Tesco Everyday Value Hazelnut and Raisin Cereal Bar 6X125G - £0.74
2 Tesco Everyday Value New Potatoes 567G - £0.30
Tesco Everyday Value Penne 500G - £0.35
2 Tesco Everyday Value Baked Beans in Tomato Sauce 420G - £0.48
Tesco Everyday Value Rice Pudding 400G - £0.15
Walkers Sunbites Sour Cream and Black Pepper 6 Pack - £1.00
Tesco Everyday Value Spaghetti 500G - £0.30
Tesco Everyday Value Vegetable Stock Cubes 100G 10 Pack - £0.20
Tesco Everyday Value Chopped Tomato With Herbs 400G - £0.45
Tesco Everyday Muesli 1KG - £1.18
Tesco Cream Crackers 200G - £0.27
Tesco Everyday Value Long Grain Rice 1KG - £0.45
Tesco Red Split Lentils 500G - £1.15
Tesco Balti Mild Sauce 500G - £0.98
Tesco Everyday Value Vegetable Soup 400G - £0.25

Frozen Food
Tesco Everyday Value 6 Vegetable Grills 340G - £1.00
Quorn 6 Cumberland Sausages 300G - £2.00
Tesco Everyday Value Vegetable Stir Fry 500G - £1.00
Quorn 2 Cheese and Broccoli Escalopes 240G - £2.00
Quorn Mince 500G - £3.00
Tesco Everyday Value 8 Fruit Flavour Lollies 280ML - £0.63
Tesco Everyday Value Mixed Vegetables 1.3KG - £1.00

Bakery
Tesco Everyday Value Medium Sliced Wholemeal Bread 800G - £0.45
Tesco 8 Seeded Tortilla Wraps - £0.90

Total price is £44.66
(This could be made cheaper by using My Supermarket to compare where to buy each product.)

However, our shopping came to £40.02 - which includes Mr Newbs for tea and at the weekend, and excluded anything we already had. I am happier with that price, although I do need to add a few bits for Mr Newbs' lunches at work.

I will let you know if I lose any weight and what I do with my leftovers!


P.S. As 'Spoonies' can be used to describe anyone with limited energy resources, this menu plan will obviously not be suitable for all. However I describe it as Spoonie-friendly because most of the ideas are quick, simple and 'assembly' cooking. Also by using things like the new potatoes in a can, frozen mixed vegetables and stir fry packets it cuts down on the prep time. I make it even easier for myself by using frozen chopped onion and garlic cubes, but this adds to the expense.

2015: Year Of The Newb

I am starting 2015 with a new look for my blog - what do you think? It's only taken me about forever to sort it all.

Last year was a very difficult year for us; we suffered a devastating miscarriage, three out of four of our cats had illnesses, went through so many cars that I can't even remember them all, had to cancel three holidays, our house fell into a greater state of disrepair and struggled financially to the extent we thought we would have to move in with my parents.

BUT

We got through it! We are completely out the other side; physically and emotionally I am the strongest I have been for years, I found a job with understanding and funny colleagues, we have savings (!!) and a car that has remained with us for three months so far which is a bit of a record. We have also been on quite a few breaks since I started working again (picture below is from our anniversary trip - pure bliss) and our bedroom is finally finished.

Mr Newbs and I are starting 2015 with a renewed enthusiasm for life. We have a couple of holidays and lots of fun things planned for this year. I'm not really doing resolutions but as always I have a huge to-do list (don't tell anyone but making babies features again this year *shhh*)

November Plans

Looking back at my last post, I can really see how far I've come. It's taken me a long time, but I am finally starting to feel okay about the miscarriage. Although I now want nothing more than to be pregnant again. Everything I am doing is to enable that to come true.

I have got a job, which I am loving. Even though we have spent the first three weekly paycheques on enjoying ourselves and booking a mini break (which to be honest, we absolutely needed after the last few months of hellishness), I plan to save every last penny from now on. Money is our biggest obstacle at the moment.

Our second biggest hurdle is my weight and health. I am only about half a stone lighter than I was before I got pregnant, but ideally I would like to be a size smaller before falling pregnant again. It was hinted to me by various health professionals that I saw after the miscarriage, that my weight could have been a contributing factor.

The house needs to be fixed and finished before we have a baby, as we either need to sell it, rent it or put a baby in it. As it is we can do none of those things. We sorted out our bedroom, but it does need a couple more alterations to be completely finished. The rest of the house needs quite a lot of work.

I also need to make sure I complete my OU module, as this is my last chance before getting a huge black mark against my name and never being allowed to study with them again!

My plans for November are to save £360, lose 7 pounds, stay on track with my course and finish the bedroom & living areas. Not sure if this is doable to be honest...!

Losing my baby.

My Miscarriage Experience
At seven weeks pregnant we had an early scan. A lot of people thought it was a bad idea, including my GP, as it can bring up problems that aren't really problems due to mismeasurement. However, we thought it would take longer than normal to get pregnant as I have various hormonal problems, and it happened the first cycle of properly trying. I had a bad feeling the entire time I was pregnant and didn't have a lot of symptoms. My husband was the eternal optimist.
At the scan they said that the baby was measuring a week smaller than the sac, and that the heartbeat was slower than normal. Separately these issues wouldn't have been such a problem but together it could signal the end of the pregnancy. They panicked us, talking about 'when the heart stopped' and 'failing pregnancy'. (Some pregnancies have both these issues and things work out, so it was slightly unnecessary to be quite so adamant it was over.) Seeing the heartbeat is something that will stay with me forever though.
We had a follow up scan a week later, and unfortunately the baby hadn't grown a bit, so had died within hours of the first scan. We had seen our baby's dying moments.

Everything happened very quickly after that. We spoke to a midwife who talked us through our options, and we decided on medical management. As I hadn't naturally had a miscarriage it could have taken weeks for my body to reject the baby, and I am terrified of anaesthetic. I immediately had a blood test and was sent up to the ward to speak to the doctor about what would happen.
The next day I was admitted at 9am, had to have another blood test and then had a vaginal pessary inserted. (Luckily by this point I had already had two different people up my foof so I was getting used to it! More to come...) After the pessary I had to stay lying down for an hour. I could feel things happening, a very strange sensation.
Then I was given two tablets every three hours to bring on the contractions, and therefore give birth to my baby. The first lot of tablets did absolutely nothing. The second lot brought on sweats, cramps, fever and pain. I was given codeine, which helped. I started to pass blood and clots. Most women will pass enough blood and tissue to go home by mid to late afternoon. I thought there had been a lot of blood and clots but apparently it wasn't enough, so I had to stay in overnight.
At 6am, three hours after my last lot of tablets, I was told that as still nothing much had happened I would need to be seen by the doctor doing her rounds at 9am. It could either mean I would need to start another round of tablets, so another night in hospital, or be booked in for an operation to, for want of a better expression, empty my womb. Twenty minutes after that conversation I started to feel like I needed to have a bowel movement, it was a different kind of cramp feeling than the day before. I sat on my lovely commode, listening to the old ladies wailing in the next room, thinking about how sad it was, when suddenly, without any pushing or contractions, I had passed the entire placenta. I was in complete shock. No-one had told me that could happen, they said it would be like a heavy period! It looked like a grey plum. It had veins. I thought I could hear it beating, but that could have been my heart working overtime. I couldn't take my eyes off it. I broke down.
I saw the doctor at about half ten, she pulled out a few more clots. Not a pleasant experience (I think it may be like a prolonged cervical screening test). After that I couldn't stop crying, because it meant it was all over. Then we were sent home.

I passed something else the day after, but I didn't see what it was as I just flushed. I had the same bowel movement feeling before hand. I had bleeding quite heavily for about a week, and a few painful cramps. Then I had light bleeding, spotting and gross brown gunk for a week after that. Now I am coming up to the end of the third week and have finally completely stopped bleeding. This week has seen the introduction of hormone induced migraines which, again, codeine is helping with.


Coping With A Miscarriage
We have a lot of good people around us, which absolutely helped. We had lots of flowers and gifts sent to us, my mum cleaned our house, our friends organised for food shopping to be delivered while we were in hospital. Asking for and accepting help is without doubt the best thing we did. We decided not to hide the fact we had a miscarriage, why suffer alone? By opening up about it, we had messages from so many people who had 'secretly' had a miscarriage of their own and I feel like we really got to know the people around us better.

Physically I needed paracetamol and codeine to help with the pain and headaches. A wheat bag was invaluable to soothe the cramps. I suffered from a kind of adult nappy rash due to the constant wearing of pads for two weeks; I followed the same advice given to parents, 'nappy-free time' (on a towel to prevent staining the sheets with the blood), keeping clean & dry, and using bepanthen.

Emotionally I am heavily relying on exercise and being in the fresh air, which is completely alien to me. Tramping around the countryside with a dog and rock music in my ears is my idea of bliss at the moment.
I also found it important to concentrate on the things I could do as I wasn't pregnant any more. That sounds awful, and it was only five weeks of 'actual' pregnancy, but any positive I found I was holding on to. Things like caffeine, sushi, pate, McDonalds milkshake, runny eggs, wine, beer, all the cheese, hair dye, painting the house, intense exercise, cigarettes if you want to (although I do advise trying to stay healthy!), medicines when you need them, hot tubs when you stop bleeding, etc.
I bought a necklace which had a heart charm that read 'You are always in my heart' and a tiny footprint charm. I also bought one for my husband which I plan to turn into a keyring for him.
My husband and I talk about our loss, and when we get sad. We both feel closer to each other. I'm glad he talks about how he is feeling too.

At the moment I crazily veer between wanting a baby this second and wanting to wait until I'm healthier, the finances are better and we are in a bigger house. I don't know what will happen in the future but I am excited to find out. I know it hasn't even been three weeks since I lost him, but I *was* pregnant and I *have* been a mum, so I can be again.