Ah, it's been two years since I posted on here. Actually can't believe it's been that long. Most of you will know that I had another baby in that time; he's now 3 months old and has caused me to have an EPIPHANY! I feel like I've been heading this way since eldest was born, but I'm at the stage now where I'm screaming "something has GOT to change".
I'm all about the eco, vegan, yogini, breastfeeding, cloth nappy lifestyle, but it is not enough!
Currently I'm suffering with PTSD, anxiety and mild depression. I've just added migraines to that list today (although they're sending me for a CT scan just to double check that diagnosis). I might be being a bit hippy and naive here but I feel like, for me, (apart from the PTSD) they're all stress related, first-world problems. I want to attack this holistically, although am considering the drugs as a temporary bandaid.
I need to cut back on stuff, things and doings. Ideally we'd go live in a eco-lodge somewhere and be self-sufficient, zero-waste, slow living... (ahem, new fave youtube channel - http://lulastic.co.uk/) and although some things may be aligning where something like this could be possible in the future. Right now, it isn't.
My blog is changing! It's going to be a place where I record what steps I am taking towards this new life I want to create for myself. Honestly I feel like a born-again Christian or something. I feel motivated and like I have found my path (calling! Bahaha) I'm going to be one of 'those vegans' right now, and bear with, but it is the same as I felt when we went vegan. It was just the absolute right thing for me, and this is the same.
The main things that I've changed recently are getting back into daily yoga, and the biggie... stepping away from my phone, particularly social media. I get dragged into it, consumed by it, and waste huge amounts of time on it. I get jealous and angry and insecure, none of which are particularly peaceful feelings. Plus, it means I'm not present for my boys, which is a massive reason that I feel things need to change.
I'm getting cravings to pack everything in and go travelling in a van. I've even looked at a few on Gumtree, but I don't know how I'd cope with the kids, without my support network. Also, we'd struggle to be zero waste, and it's not exactly carbon friendly. But what an amazing upbringing that would be for my boys. Worldschooling. Is it the way forward for us?
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
14 June 2016
Deals And Freebies Round-up
I've been trying to save money recently as my maternity pay has run out. Boohoo! So I've been searching out deals and freebies and thought I'd do a little round up of my current favourites:
Free craft box for children aged between 3 and 8 (just remember to cancel after the free one arrives otherwise you'll be signed up for fortnightly boxes). Jasper is too young for this but I'm going to order a box for my eldest nephew.
Money Saving Expert deal for Sky Broadband: 12 months free broadband and half-price line rental AND £50 credit (scroll down to the £61 Sky offer).
FREE COFFEE! Now, this, I need. Download the Greggs loyalty app and get a free hot drink. Aces.
Sample of Simply Argan oil posted to your house.
£1 strawberry plants at Lidl from Thursday. So yummy!
I've also been answering surveys online on Swagbucks and I'm saving up points for Christmas presents. Join me here.
Have you found any fabulous freebies this week?
01 June 2016
Baby's Summer Bucket List
Well, it's the 1st of June - summer starts here, right?! It's grey, drizzly and I've got a cold; I think I've missed a few months and woken up in October.
I'm getting in the summer spirit by thinking about the things I want to do with Baby J over the coming months. A lot of these will be exciting "firsts" but while researching this, I've come across things that I've made a note of to do when he's a toddler so it's lovely to know that good things are still to come as well.
Come on, nice weather! What are your plans for any sunny days we might be blessed with?
I'm getting in the summer spirit by thinking about the things I want to do with Baby J over the coming months. A lot of these will be exciting "firsts" but while researching this, I've come across things that I've made a note of to do when he's a toddler so it's lovely to know that good things are still to come as well.
DAYS OUT
A day at the beach (Felixstowe, Southwold or Aldeburgh? Or all three!)
Visit Banham or Colchester Zoo
Go to a farm
Picnic at Flatford Mill
DAYS IN
Blow bubbles
Make lollies
Play with ice chalk
Make squishy sensory bags
FREE FUN
First time in a swing
Feed the ducks at Needham Lake
Watch the carnival
Play in the water at Holywells Park
SUNNY DAYS
Paddling pool in Nanny's garden
Strawberry picking at Alder Carr Farm (once we've trialled strawberries for allergic reactions!)
Outdoor swimming at Beccles Lido
Come on, nice weather! What are your plans for any sunny days we might be blessed with?
02 May 2016
The Birth Story
Wow, it's been a long time since I posted. I've only gone and had a baby.
The last trimester of pregnancy was good in that I felt well, productive and happy. But things kept going a bit wrong. My baby was rather lazy and we had to be monitored nearly every week due to reduced movements. Towards the last few weeks Bub also slowed in growth so we were having scans every week.
The last growth scan we had was on a Friday morning at 39+5 weeks, where I hadn't felt the baby move in hours. I was panicked and stressed. The scans were running late and I was convinced something awful had happened. We eventually got seen (after I cried in the waiting room and Mr Newbs got a bit stampy) and things looked okay. The baby didn't move during the scan though and hadn't grown a lot since the last time. We had to wait and see a consultant, who asked if it was okay to induce me as they felt the baby needed to come out. After a giddy discussion we decided we'd rather worry about Bub on the outside than on the inside, so agreed. We were admitted to the antenatal ward and then went to lunch.
Hospital food isn't too bad at the West Suffolk although I don't remember what I had. What I *do* remember is walking down the steps to get the last few things from the car and wondering if I'd wet myself. Every step I took I kept feeling like I'd peed so I called to Mr Newbs, who was ahead of me due to my waddling, and told him I didn't know if I was weeing or not. He found this hilarious. Once back up on the ward (in new knickers, which were completely redundant it turned out) I sat on the bed and just kept "peeing". The midwives asked me to wear a maternity pad which I soaked through in minutes. They told me my waters had broken! All by themselves! Baby didn't want to be induced.
Things happened incredibly quickly from this point. I started to get contractions within the hour (maybe, time went a bit wibbly for me after this. Might get Mr Newbs to do a guest post with some Proper Facts) and they ramped up almost immediately. I remember wanting pain relief but not being able to transfer to the Labour Unit as they were full. I was surprised at how little I could move. I was basically curled up on my side in the bed and I'd started moaning through the contractions. All of this was completely involuntary and I had little control over anything. Thankfully I just went with it.
The midwives wanted me to walk over to the Labour Unit but I was adament that I couldn't, so they wheeled me round. From here on I really remember very little. I had to be weighed in case I wanted pain relief, when this happened I'm not sure. I stayed in the same position as I'd been on the antenatal ward. At some point I decided I wanted to try kneeling. Mr Newbs and the midwife had to assist this move, and I nearly immediately realised it was worse so turned back on my side. The baby had a heart rate monitor on its' head which was attached to my thigh (it had to be monitored throughout because it hadn't been moving) which also made changing positions difficult.
I used gas and air as soon as I was in the bed on the Labour Unit and it felt like I asked for an epidural almost straight away. I was given pethidine in the meantime, which completely chilled me out. I've been told since that it works differently for everyone, but for me it meant that I really went in to myself during the contractions and lost all conscious thought. I was only "with it" in between contractions, which makes telling this story really confusing! I didn't end up with an epidural and to be honest, I'm glad because I didn't need one. However the only reason (as far as I knew at the time) for this was because they couldn't get the cannula in my hand. I think they tried about six different places and at least two doctors. I had bruising for about four weeks afterwards and I still have some of the marks from this! It turns out that as well as this, my husband and the midwife were holding off on the epidural as they knew that I really hadn't wanted to have one. I didn't know what to think when I was told this a few weeks later, as it HURT and I felt like I needed it at the time.
One of the other things that I remember is that I couldn't hear what the midwife was telling me; I could only focus on Mr Newbs and I could only hear his voice. You know that bit in Come Fly With Me where they are training Tommy on the tills at Happy Burger (or whatever it's called)... Yeah, like that...!
The last trimester of pregnancy was good in that I felt well, productive and happy. But things kept going a bit wrong. My baby was rather lazy and we had to be monitored nearly every week due to reduced movements. Towards the last few weeks Bub also slowed in growth so we were having scans every week.
The last growth scan we had was on a Friday morning at 39+5 weeks, where I hadn't felt the baby move in hours. I was panicked and stressed. The scans were running late and I was convinced something awful had happened. We eventually got seen (after I cried in the waiting room and Mr Newbs got a bit stampy) and things looked okay. The baby didn't move during the scan though and hadn't grown a lot since the last time. We had to wait and see a consultant, who asked if it was okay to induce me as they felt the baby needed to come out. After a giddy discussion we decided we'd rather worry about Bub on the outside than on the inside, so agreed. We were admitted to the antenatal ward and then went to lunch.
Hospital food isn't too bad at the West Suffolk although I don't remember what I had. What I *do* remember is walking down the steps to get the last few things from the car and wondering if I'd wet myself. Every step I took I kept feeling like I'd peed so I called to Mr Newbs, who was ahead of me due to my waddling, and told him I didn't know if I was weeing or not. He found this hilarious. Once back up on the ward (in new knickers, which were completely redundant it turned out) I sat on the bed and just kept "peeing". The midwives asked me to wear a maternity pad which I soaked through in minutes. They told me my waters had broken! All by themselves! Baby didn't want to be induced.
Things happened incredibly quickly from this point. I started to get contractions within the hour (maybe, time went a bit wibbly for me after this. Might get Mr Newbs to do a guest post with some Proper Facts) and they ramped up almost immediately. I remember wanting pain relief but not being able to transfer to the Labour Unit as they were full. I was surprised at how little I could move. I was basically curled up on my side in the bed and I'd started moaning through the contractions. All of this was completely involuntary and I had little control over anything. Thankfully I just went with it.
The midwives wanted me to walk over to the Labour Unit but I was adament that I couldn't, so they wheeled me round. From here on I really remember very little. I had to be weighed in case I wanted pain relief, when this happened I'm not sure. I stayed in the same position as I'd been on the antenatal ward. At some point I decided I wanted to try kneeling. Mr Newbs and the midwife had to assist this move, and I nearly immediately realised it was worse so turned back on my side. The baby had a heart rate monitor on its' head which was attached to my thigh (it had to be monitored throughout because it hadn't been moving) which also made changing positions difficult.
I used gas and air as soon as I was in the bed on the Labour Unit and it felt like I asked for an epidural almost straight away. I was given pethidine in the meantime, which completely chilled me out. I've been told since that it works differently for everyone, but for me it meant that I really went in to myself during the contractions and lost all conscious thought. I was only "with it" in between contractions, which makes telling this story really confusing! I didn't end up with an epidural and to be honest, I'm glad because I didn't need one. However the only reason (as far as I knew at the time) for this was because they couldn't get the cannula in my hand. I think they tried about six different places and at least two doctors. I had bruising for about four weeks afterwards and I still have some of the marks from this! It turns out that as well as this, my husband and the midwife were holding off on the epidural as they knew that I really hadn't wanted to have one. I didn't know what to think when I was told this a few weeks later, as it HURT and I felt like I needed it at the time.
One of the other things that I remember is that I couldn't hear what the midwife was telling me; I could only focus on Mr Newbs and I could only hear his voice. You know that bit in Come Fly With Me where they are training Tommy on the tills at Happy Burger (or whatever it's called)... Yeah, like that...!
I also remember "coming to" and realising that I knew a lady who was in the room! I freaked her out by suddenly announcing that I knew her and I named her sons. She's a friend of my mum's and I hadn't seen her in years. Turns out she's a senior midwife and she ended up being in the room when my baby arrived.
Weirdly, when I was 10cm dilated and ready to push, I was completely with it again. I knew the contractions were different and the atmosphere in the room changed. I tried pushing on my side, holding my thigh back with my hand. Nothing. I tried on my back and I think I had people pushing my legs back, or that could have been later. I'm not sure how long I was pushing but all of a sudden the baby's heart rate dropped and it needed out. We had a lot of people in the room with us at this point - I think we had several midwives, including my mum's friend, a couple of doctors and a neonatal doctor. Possibly more, who knows.
My legs were put in stirrups and I was told I HAD to get the baby out. I was exhausted and I couldn't feel anything happening when I was pushing. It was then taken out of my hands. I think I was given a local anaesthetic and I was cut (which previously had been one of my worst nightmares, but actually in that moment I was so worried I'd have done anything to get the baby out). They popped a ventouse on the head and pulled. Nothing. They then used forceps, this was the first time that I actually felt the baby moving down. It was almost a relief and yes, like a big poo! The head was delivered at 00.01 on Saturday 14th November (turns out I'd had a back to back labour, no one knew which is why the ventouse didn't work as it was put on the wrong part of the head!) followed by the rest of my baby at 00.05.
We had hoped to have the baby lifted to my chest, find out the sex ourselves, immediate skin to skin and breastfeed while I delivered the placenta naturally. What actually ended up happening was the cord was cut straight away and the baby was taken to be checked over. We didn't know the sex for at least half an hour (I think!). The doctor then started to bring the baby over to us and accidentally said "he"! I didn't care that he'd spoiled the surprise, I had a son! I didn't get the first skin to skin as I was worried about dropping him while I was being stitched up. Instead he had cuddles with his Daddy.
Oh, this makes my heart ache <3
I had ended up tearing as well as being cut so had to be checked to make sure I hadn't.. err.. been ripped end to end.. or something! Then I was stitched up and eventually given my baby to hold. We'd been toying with Isaac for a boy for months and months, and only a few weeks previously had suddenly added in Jasper as an afterthought. As soon as we saw him though, he was Jasper. He just was. He took to breastfeeding immediately and nursed for about an hour! I should've known then what I was getting myself in for! There are no immediate photos of me that I am willing to share (I look huge, sweaty, exhausted and I'd burst loads of blood vessels in my face!) but rest assured that our first family photo is ridiculous..!
